Thursday, August 18, 2011

Screaming Toddler 101

Yes, we signed up for this when we became parents. 

Are we failing miserably?

I don't think so.

Do we have our moments?

Yes, one of us more than the other.   

I am not an expert in any way shape or form but, here are some of my experiences so far.

I hate saying so far, it just means there is more to come.

It's all about patience and strategy.

You have to be patient with the meltdown.  The more you let it get to you the more they will do it.  They are smart little buggers. If you let it get to you then yeah they will shoot for the moon, go for the goal.......... then do a touchdown dance and laugh about it. 

Strategy comes into play with how to end the meltdown.  There are key questions to figuring out.
  1. What is the reason for the meltdown? 
    1. Is it because they want to go outside and play and you are seconds from putting dinner on the table and won't let them?  
      1. Do not give in to this. It will only make coming back inside within minutes that much worse.
    2. Is it because they do not want to let you leave when you drop them off at daycare?  (Sob...sob...he did not used to do this now it is a regular occurrence.)
      1. I'm still working on this one, cause honestly I don't want to leave as much as he wants me to stay....but Mommas gotta work!
    3. Did you take away a crayon because they felt the couch was their canvas?
      1. Place child in time out and walk away.  Once the tears stop calmly explain the reason for the timeout.  They are smart little buggers.
      2. My  cousin N took Permanent marker to the walls, the table, you name it he drew on it. His mother took the markers away and he says that he has no artistic ability  today because of this. 
    4.  Do they want to get into the cupboard for the ump-teenth time to get a marshmallow that they lick then feeds to the dog?
      1. I try not to give into this.  It is pretty funny to watch though so it is hard not to go ahead and let him have "one more".  However when the marshmallow becomes a writing utensil for the couch, it end pretty quickly.
      2. My poor couch. 
  2. How do you stop the meltdown?   
    1. Should you stop it or let it roll?  Most of the time you should stop it.  Simply because, when a meltdown occurs in public they know that you mean business when you try to stop it.
    2. Try to distract them, give them something else to do. Sometimes that works, other times you get an emphatic "no" and more meltdown ensues.
    3. Pick them up and talk to them quietly, or get down to their level and talk to them.  If they don't have to look up at you and know that you are in that moment giving them your undivided attention they may be more apt to stop the meltdown and listen to you. 
      1. I must say that in the big scheme of things reasoning with a young toddler is futile, but the more patience you have the quicker they will learn.
      2. My Stepfather G told me one thing to remember about an almost 2 year old is that everything revolves around them and everything in their universe belongs to them.  Good to know!
  3. When do you throw in the towel?
    1. As in give up and walk away......when you have exhausted your efforts, or your patience is gone.  As long as there is no immediate danger to the child just walk away.
      1. I have had to do this.......not my favorite parenting moment. 
So in the big scheme of things this is just a faze.....I hope. 

Until it ends the homework stinks. 

I better get an A.